my favorite wedding task- thus far

I ordered candles for the reception and I received them today. At 12:30 I lit one, just to see how long it would burn. Now 4.5 hours later, it is still burning strong.

My favorite wedding task? Laying on the couch enjoying my day off (after a busy morning) watching my candle burn. May all the rest of my remaining tasks be like this.

License to Wed

I have the day off, thanks to the holiday of Rosh Hashannah (L'shana Tova to my Jewish brides!). I have been running around all morning catching up and running errands. First on the list, get the marriage license.


Fi and I met at the Pima County Courthouse this morning, paid our $72 (prices JUST went up last week!), swore we were who we said we were, signed, sealed and viola! We are licensed!

Beautiful day in Tucson, we love the gorgeous historic courthouse behind us. We originally planned to marry in the courtyard there, but this is happening there the same day.

Our license! Pardon my hair, it was windy!

One last shot of our favorite building in Tucson!

I've been tagged

I recommend that bride's to be should not be tagged within a month of their wedding. But I was, and so you'll receive this half-hearted response. But Tayia tagged me and said she reads me everyday (sheesh, that's awesome!) so I had to at least play along!

4 things I did today:
1. Woke up before my alarm!
2. Opened a belated shower gift that included Penis shaped Cookie cutters.
3. Wished my oldest brother a happy birthday!
4. Found a new scarf pattern to take on the honeymoon!

4 things on my To Do list:
1. Go to track tonight!
2. Follow up on our 2 delinquent wedding guests
3. Table seating table seating table seating
4. Make a list of my vendors for Jenn

4 of my guiltiest pleasures:
1. Secret smoking- although I am sure all of my friends are aware I have started again.
2. Mariachi music
3. Fried foods. I miss them, I can't wait to eat them again after the wedding!
4. my sloth-like behavior. Can't wait to catch up on being a sloth on the honeymoon!

4 random facts about me:
1. I am able to recognize faces really well. It is annoying. I'll meet some one once and remember for life, or heck, I'll even stand behind them in the grocery line and remember them.
2. I hold grudges big time. And not rational grudges, but grudges that don't make sense. Like I hate Va Tech football. I once sat in a a bar with a dude who went to every Va Tech football game and he was an ass. So because of him, I hate Va Tech football. Rational? no way, but it works for me.
3. I want to become and accomplished anything: cook, baker, runner, writer, career woman. I have a desire to succeed at something.
4. I still sleep with stuffed animals on the bed.

I think everyone I know has been tagged by this, or they fall into the one-month before their wedding time range that I refuse to intrude on, so if you want to do this meme....go right ahead!

Last but not least

Today I had my last shower, my in-town shower. I previously celebrated with Fi's family and friends, my mom and her ladies and now- my friends! Here is the pretty invitation, even stamped with a "celebration" stamp!



As I mentioned before, it was intimate, but I couldn't have asked for a better morning!



My pals Jenn and Mel, along with running pals Beth and Jenise were the gracious hosts. Along with them, three other lovely friends joined us this morning.



The games were great, not embarrassing or obnoxious. One game we were all given decorated clothes pins. I picked a word (drink) and when anyone said it (or a derivative) who ever caught them, got their clothes pin. The one left with the most pins won a prize. I was the worst about it, saying "drunk" and "drinking". It was clever and kept us on our toes!



The next "game" everyone had submitted a memory of me and I was to guess whose memory it was. They were all thoughtful and fun, and I tried to reciprocate by sharing a memory of them. The best memory hands down, was sent in by my mom who didn't come. She wrote such a touching heart felt remembrance of the day I was born, I was blown away. She kindly sent in baby pictures too! I took this photo of all my memories I got to keep! Wasn't I a cute baby?!




The next game was the "newlywed" style game that I have now played 3 times. So one would think that I would be better, but I sucked at this game. One question was about comfort foods. I answered tacos for me and Mac and cheese for Fi, he answered with the same two foods, but assigned to the other person. Really, I had no idea Mac and cheese was my comfort food!?!



I then opened gifts and I received such kind thoughtful gifts. My favorite (no offense to anyone else) was the cross-stitched piece made by Jenn, see below. She also gave me a Road ID, which made me cry, as for the emergency contact it said "husband". Man nothing makes it more real than seeing "husband" laser etched into a road id!

Of course the day wouldn't have been complete without favors! The hosts presented us all with these adorable little buckets with candy and a paper flower to plant and grow our own flowers!

As an added touch, the ribbon was personalized with my name and the date!

This shower, was exactly what a shower should be, in my opinon. I felt loved and celebrated. I was surrounded by the women in my life who mean the most to me. It was a morning filled with laughter (and a few tears, happy ones), love and a bit of relaxation before the big day! Thank you Thank you!

Frugal me

The best decisions I have made regarding money and the wedding was insisting on putting deposits down when I did.

My caterer and our venue were the only vendors that requested I put down a deposit to save the date. Everyone else was lax about it but I pressed the issue. Not only did this satisfy my OCD tendencies, it locked me into a great rate.

My DJ, for example, has basically doubled his prices since I booked him 15 months ago. My caterer informed me that had I not booked them a year ago, the same meal options would be $7 more/per person! Between those two vendors we are "saving" $1700!

I am sure as we shell out too much money on too many vendors, Fi would not consider me frugal, but I am pretty pleased with myself!

Table-scapes!

Jenn and I went to the Z last night, I gave her a tour and I paid a few vendors, then we headed over to visit with my linen lady.

I brought a variety of the paper flowers we had made and we played dress up with the tables. My original choices for linens were ivory with a "honey" accent with the runners. But after talking to Amelia (the linen lady) a few weeks ago, she suggested copper runners with ivory.

This weekend Jenn, Mel and I will bundle the bouquets and wrap them, then a few days before the wedding we'll pass them off to Amelia, who has the vases and glass rocks for the bottom of the vases.

We ultimately decided to put the candles just off of the copper runners, as to not start a fire to the historic home that is my venue.

I think the copper is a great choice!

The napkins will alternate ivory and copper. I so pleased to see my humble idea of using paper flowers come to fruition and actually look good! We initially made enough flowers for each bouquet to have 8-10 flowers, but since we will be having fewer tables now, we can have as many as 13 flowers per bouquet with will only look fuller and lovelier (in my opinion).

Input taken

I removed the last post, as an email came in from a friend/reader that made it crystal clear to me....and as she pointed out, I knew the decision all along.

So thanks for the help those of you who commented, voted and emailed.

The florist has been contacted and another corsage and boutonniere have been ordered.

Gratuitous Ring Shots

Fi's ring came in the other day! So we had fun playing photographer.

Our sets together.

Not intential on my part, but I love that I captured the bottle of wine in the background!

Here, you can read part of the engraving: "Elephant Shoe, Jenny Rabbit"

Nice!

The Pole story

This is not a story about a stripper pole class ala GoLightly, nor about That Bride's husband to be (couldn't help myself!) but rather a cautionary tale my Fi came home with last night.

We were laying in bed watching the Office (season 2) and Fi pauses the disc the, shuts the computer, turns to me and says- we need to talk.

SH*T.

Then he starts rambling about Cesar in his office who was back from vacation yesterday. Fi asked Cesar about his vacation and Cesar said it was nice. Cesar asks about the wedding and Fi says its coming together and its in less than 3 weeks. yadda yadda.

And I have no idea what this means to me. Because this is how I explain my day to Fi, through recounts of conversations or blogs. Fi, well he usually says "it was fine, I had to work on Project X and I had a hot dog for lunch". We communicate differently, and that is cool- but for the life of me, I couldn't figure out why the need for such detail- now!

Then Cesar tells Fi that about 3 weeks before his own wedding, his Fi, Angela was so stressed out that while she was driving she hit a pole. Fi expressed concern for my own stress levels (which made me more stressed and made me cry- AGAIN) and asked that I do my best not to hit a pole.

To which I responded by asking if Cesar had mentioned that Angela was only stressed out because Cesar kept forgetting to complete his to do list?

Fi didn't like that so much.

But this morning as I drove to work, I thought about being in the moment and not working on table seating as I usually do while driving.

So from Cesar to fi to me and now to you...may we all avoid poles while driving.

J Crew Update

Update: As of Saturday J Crew sent me a statement via email saying my gift card (which was my original refund medium) had been charged for the amount of the second purchase. But my bank account showed nothing. However, as of today I have received a refund to my account.

I still feel J Crew owes me an explanation as to how my credit card was charged after I read off the gift card number to the representative and she read it back to me. I also am disappointed in how this whole situation was handled. But I have my money back and that's all that really matters.

Panic Attack Monday

Thought I forgot about Panic Attack Mondays didn't you? Well I did, until today.

Fi's ring arrived in the mail. It is pretty and shiny and a perfect symbol of our love.

But sheesh, it sent me into a bit of a tizzy.

This is really happening, eh?

Taking stock

Nothing really puts your life in perspective like having a wedding. You make your guest list and it is impossible not to count how many on your side and how many on his side. You make out a shower guest list only to see that you have fewer friends than you thought. Then to have responses come in and see "your" side dwindle dramatically or to have four of your friends throw a shower that only 4 other people are attending....well it ain't easy.

I am confident in my friendships. I feel good about myself, but to see it on paper like that, well, it just makes me a feel a bit sad. However, I spoke to my mom this week who is visiting her roommate from her freshman year in college. That means they have been friends since 1963! I asked my mom how their visit was and she said "oh, its just like we saw each other yesterday" even though it has been maybe 12 years since they saw each other last.

That gives me hope and more confidence. My pal Amy, my bff since 1991, I see her once a year and it is like what my mom described above. Just like yesterday. My Tucson bff, matchmaker Mel, she travels a lot for work and we don't see or speak to each other as often as I would like, but it is always just like yesterday.

If I can give future brides out there one piece of advice, it would be not to focus on quantity and lists and numbers. But rather, take this time to relish what you have. So on Saturday when I am at the world's most intimate bridal shower, I am determined to receive the love from my friends who are there and not worry about numbers.

a few things crossed off the list (boring post)

I finally purchased a guest book. I am not overly thrilled about it, but it will do, as my creative juices are gone. It is the Martha Stewart Guest Book from Michael's that has the cards and envelopes inside for guests to write notes on. I do like it better than the simple sign your name. We can always embellish later with photos and additional pages and it fills the requirements set forth by Fi: cheap and easy.

I also finalized my escort cards, now I just have to recruit some people to help me write them out (that means you Jenn and Mel!).

Fi ordered the dessert this weekend and updated his tux orders.

We used our first wedding gift, our fondue pot. I am certain I will never eat cheese again.

We saw our mariachi band perform on Saturday (for the millionth time). I jumped around and screamed like I was seeing the Beatles perform on Ed Sullivan and people stared and pointed at me. I am so excited that they'll be there! We even hung out after the show like groupies.
With 19 days to go, I feel okay. I am tired and excited and stressed and calm all at the same time.

Oh Poo!

I ordered a rehearsal dinner dress in two sizes from J Crew. I ordered them form the store on the red phone (which always makes me think of Ronald Reagan). I get back to the office, check my email for the confirmation and the email states that the dresses are final sale...NO RETURNS.

I immediately called J Crew, explain to them that when I ordered on the red phone no one said that explicitly. So why in the world would I order the same dress in two sizes? (Especially since the sales lady in the store encouraged me to order both- "then you can always return one"). So they were gracious, marked my account and said that I could return them if necessary. Which was great-because I looked horrific in them. I really appreciate their effort to help me in this situation.

Back to the store to return the dresses and order a new one (right size, right style). While I am returning I have the opportunity to 1. put the return back on my card 2. Get a gift card 3. get cash and 4. Get a check? ...so the gift card is the easiest..the money is in my hot little hand in no time.

The lovely dude who helped me, set up the gift card, walked me over to the red phone and viola I ordered my new dress. It came the other day and I love it and it fits and looks beautifully.

So why am I telling you all of this? I was online last night checking my balance and J Crew had charged my card for the price of the dress, instead of using the gift card, as I had authorized during the transaction. Perhaps they took all my gift card money too.

I called customer service right away. The woman I spoke to said she would file a "claim" to be "investigated". However she could not tell me the balance of my gift card. And more frightening to me- on that second transaction I NEVER gave my credit card number. Which means that J Crew keeps it on file. (To which I was comforted "well we only see the last four digits").

The major issue I have is that I did not authorize the use of my card. Secondly, I did not authorize J Crew (nor any other retailer) to keep my card on file. Is this anew practice? Shouldn't I be asked before they hold my information?

I was told that "if" my claim proved correct (um excuse me?) I won't see my money for 5-10 business days. Really? 5-10 days! (Which is the reason I took the effing gift card to begin with, I wanted to exchange my items, and that was the best and quickest option they had!)

So J Crew, my favorite retailer of all...all I have to say to you is "Poo on you J Crew". You swindled me and I want my money back.

Self-Awareness

I am changing. My identity and my core understanding of myself is shifting. The way the world views me and will approach me is twisting.
When Fi and were first engaged, the wife of one of Fi's college buddies- a woman I barely know- gave me a book. She said it changed her engagement process and hoped it would help me. This was May 2007. I read it, poked a round and appreciated it. Now, a mere 23 days until the wedding, I read it every chance I get.










The Conscious Bride: Women Unveil Their True Feelings About Getting Hitched
by Sheryl Paul



It is not the best written book in the world, but it speaks to me. Ms Paul breaks the book into 7 chapters that starts with the experience of engagement through the first year of marriage.


Ms Paul goes into great depth in the first couple chapters about how getting married is a right of passage but for some reason our culture lets brides (and grooms) go it alone. Historically, ones right of passage brought a community together. Think of such passages in your own life: baptism, graduations, etc. People came together. Well they do come together for a wedding to, but what Ms. Paul says is that the actual engagement period is a right of passage within itself.



What the book really does well is discuss the dark side of getting married. About how I am changing (like every bride before me) and how beautiful as that is, it is also painful and sad. I am aware now that one of the reasons I am not changing my name, is that it is my way of saying "yeah, so I'm in this union, but don't forget about me!". Some of you commented that changing your name was important to you- because you wanted that union, that association with your husband, rather than your parents. I get that totally, but I guess part of me isn't ready to let go of my parents...or perhaps I fear I may lose myself.


This book has really put a spotlight on this emotional rollercoaster I've been on, and helps me cope with these feelings. There middle chapters are dedicated to the separations (real or imagined, actual or metaphorical) that one goes through during this process. Ms Paul examines family, friends, fiance and self.


The first read through, I struggled with Ms Paul's' approach to marriage and her explanations. She is married and often talks bluntly about cutting ties with your parents and family. I scoffed. I'm not cutting ties, I'm building new ties with Fi's family. But the closer I get, the more I realize that it's not just me cutting these "ties" with my parents, it is society. And essentially I am. In less than a month I will forever be associated, tied to my husband first, before my parents.


A wonderful couple chapters "The Quest for Perfection" and "Has Everyone gone Mad?" have been therapeutic to read and re-read. In the "Quest" Ms Paul examines brides who strove for the perfect wedding only to fail, sometimes so drastically their marriages fell apart too. However, the tails of woe aren't shared in a Lifetime TV movie of the week, but rather for me as cautionary tales.

I particularly enjoyed "Mad" and have recently photocopied the appropriate pages and mailed them to my Mom and Dad. Again, using real bridal anecdotes I read about fathers who waited till right before walking their daughter's down the aisle to express sorrow and loss. So, I have tried during phone calls and emails to talk to my dad about the shift between us. He often says our relationship adapted when I moved 1000 miles away, we'll be fine,or he changes the topic to football. But my mom has let it slip that my dad has cried and he is emotional about the wedding. "Mad" also discusses blow-ups with mothers, siblings, friends, Fis, really everyone around us. I see in myself the need to push people away right now. To be alone, to be ME.

The final chapter discusses the newlywed stage and how the roles our mothers and grandmothers played are not our roles today. This is written quickly, but with enough advice for someone that if you hadn't divided the labor within your home, you could effectively. Surprisingly though, the women Ms Paul interviews for this section all admit to needing to nest and take care of their new husbands, even if they had lived together for years.

This book has at the very least provided me with some insight and at the most been like a bible to me. I find great comfort in this book. It has provided me the opportunity to stop thinking of escort cards and start thinking about what this wedding is really- a rite of passage. That this is another phase of my life.

Fi and I are solid, you know? And perhaps I am still being ignorant when I see our transition into married life as smooth and easy. I do know that it will be easier because of the work, the thinking and understanding I have gained from reading this book.

YIKES!!!

I interrupt this blog for an important announcement!

I'M GETTING MARRIED IN 23 DAYS!


Thank you, now back to your regularly scheduled blog.

By the numbers

In my den:
250 paper flowers
312 bottles of beer
30 bottles of wine

RSVPS:
90 confirmed
18 confirmed no's
47 unconfirmed

Misc:
10 wedding gifts we've received
1 more shower to attend
24 days to go
17 hives I can count on my body (induced by stress)
12 items on my to do list.

why are registries SOOO difficult?

I know not all of our guests are stupid and I assume that not all retail workers are dumb (having been one for years, I know there are plenty of brilliant people working retail).

Then why, for the love of all things holy, is it so hard to get an order right?
Why do you continue to sell the same cookbook we've received now FOUR times, William Sonoma?
Why can't you spell my last name correctly Dillard's?
Crate & Barrel why have you sent not one, but two packages back to the PURCHASER instead of to me.
And back to you William Sonoma, your reasoning- that there are too many other "Jennifer Lastnames" so that's why random people have bought stuff off our registry only for us never to receive it, doesn't fly. For the record- if you are random and you want to buy off of our registry- sweet- just send it to us!

It shouldn't be this hard. I have checked, double checked and triple checked...all our information is correct. And yet mistakes keep happening. I'm totally cool about the mistakes that are being made- but my concern really is what mistakes are we not aware of?

Pay it forward!

Blue-Eyed Bride posted this challenge today about Paying it Forward. She learned about it from Alexis at Our Journey to Forever. I was one of the first 3 posts on her blog, so I'm paying it forward to you.

Here are the rules to the game that Blue Eyed Bride got from Mojito Maven: The exchange focuses on doing an act of kindness without expecting anything in return other than that the recipient will, in their turn, pass the kindness along and pay it forward.
This is how it works... I am going to agree to send something fun, cute, & nice to the first 3 bloggers who post a comment on this entry. In turn, those three will post this information and pick 3 people they want to send something to and so on. Unfortunately, due to postage costs, I can only pay it forward within the United States. If you are interested in participating, be one of the first 3 bloggers to leave a comment!

The little something you send can be something you made, bought, were given or found. Just a gift that will make the person smile. So if you're interested, be one of the first three to leave a comment. You have to agree to pay it forward on your blog by posting this, linking to me, and paying it forward to three more people.

So as I await my trinket from Blue- Eyed Bride...go ahead and post! I'll send you something fun! I think, what a better time to do this than just a few short weeks till my wedding, to brush off the selfishness for a few minutes and focus on making someone else happy! So post away my friends, post away!

Killing me slowly

I have never been the epitome of grace. I have always been a bit clumsy. Lately, however, I have turned into the world's clumsiest person.

Is this some unconscious way of avoiding the wedding? Am I trying to harm myself prior to my nuptials?

Friday I stabbed myself in the hand with a pencil and now that cut is infected (despite my attempts at cleaning, bandaging and disinfecting). Saturday and Sunday I had horrific bouts of IBS. Today I cut my heel, just shy of a major artery but there was still lots of blood.

What in the heck is happening to me? Did I mention that I will be walking down a staircase at least twice at my wedding? Once coming down the "aisle" with my dad and once as Fi and I are introduced. Can't you just picture me tripping on those! Is it too late in the game for finishing school?

This stinks.

Our friends M& M from Mexico City? They moved to Moscow. We knew it was a 1/999,999,999 chance that they could make it for the wedding. We heard today, they aren't coming.


My wedding sounding board and knitting friend Monica and her talented photographer husband Leigh? They can't come either.


My buddy Lesley, she's out of a job right now and lives 2000 miles away, so she can't come.


Our good pal Marisa, she's pregnant and is due like 2 weeks after the wedding, she can't fly. Ditto for cousin Holly.


My grandpa is 96 and can't fly or travel, so he'll miss it too.

BM Amy's dad, he just had a brain tumor removed, so he understandably will skip as well.


I know that all these people would come if the situation/date/timing was different. And that's what sucks the most. They all have worried about how to tell us, or struggled with the decision or mapped out how long a drive it is from Portland to Tucson (the answer: too long when you are 8.5 months pregnant). We will miss them all terribly and we are so touched by their attempts to get here.

A ring for him

I bought Fi 's wedding ring today! And can I get an "Amen!" This maybe the hardest decision yet. Fi, bless his big heart, went through a million different ideas:

copper, rose gold, hammered, flat, matte, yellow gold, no ring, one fish, two fish.



So after months of playing online, I drug him last Sunday to my mecca of all meccas: Tiffanys. Although he knew and I knew there would be no Tiffany ring in his future, the sales people are gems (if you wear your Elsa Perretti collection in, like I do) and there is no pressure. We needed to get him sized and we wanted to figure out the width he liked.



Well wouldn't you know? He fell in love with a ring there. (Say it with me: Sonofabitch) The ring, was 3x the amount I had anticipated spending. Well, luckily for me, my guy is practical. And he didn't want platinum. I have palladium in my ring and he thought it would be cool if he had palladium too. Easy, with palladium a member of the platinum family, but for a 1/3 of the price, I was down.



So now I had to find THE RING somewhere in palladium. I looked high and low and found his ring on e-weddingbands.com. I just ordered it today! I'll let you know how it turns out, but a few hints: Check with the BBB to see if the online retailer has been in any hotspots. Make sure they have a size exchange policy. Although he was sized, you never know, so this sites policy (like many I saw) was 30 day exchange (minus shipping).



I also had it engraved. For $7.50 there was engraving and even if I get the wrong size, they can resurface it for exchange. Did you ever play that game in elementary school where you mouthed the words " elephant shoe" or "olive juice" because it looks like you are saying "i love you"? Well, fi and I ALWAYS say elephant shoe to each other. And one of his many nicknames for me is Jenny Rabbit. No one calls me Jenny, but I love it when he does, so the engraving reads: "Elephant shoe, Jenny Rabbit". I think he'll get a kick out of that.



So without further ado:




Not only is it Palladium like mine, but it also has the milgrain around it- like my set. I think we will complement each other nicely even though we don't match!

Today? Not so much.

This morning I asked Fi if we could cancel the wedding. He said okay. We won't. But it is nice to know he would cancel with me.

I'm just not into this anymore. I am done with disappointing his mother. Every decision WE make is an assault to her sensibilities. No cake!? An outrage! No bouquet toss?! How dare you! No money dance!?! How uncouth.

My estranged brother is coming so that is adding more stress than is humanly necessary.

I *know* that when I walk down the aisle, everything will be okay...and I can not care.

These testing times though make it clearer than my Vera Wang crystal that Fi is the dude for me. He is so steddy eddy, so calm and calming. He'll get into bed with me at 8:00pm, cause I am done with the day and watch Finding Nemo for the ga-billionth time. He doesn't get mad when I burn part of dinner because I was sucked into ANTM ("13 beautiful young ladies stand before me...") and then told him I NEEDED to watch it, to take my mind off of wedding crap. And really nothing takes your mind off of wedding stuff like watching an Asian woman lie about her boob job!

So no, we won't be cancelling the wedding. But I am strangely comforted by the fact that fi agreed to cancel it with me.

I am also reminded of this country's sorrow today. I feel selfish for being stressed about a wedding when there are people still grieving, 7 years later. I was lucky and all I lost was a false sense of security, but I know many people lost more than they could have imagined. I am extremely grateful for what I have, especially those things I can not grasp entirely: freedom and independence.

So today I waiver between uncertainty, selfishness, gratitude and remembrance.

sometimes he is even right!

The best decision we made (nay Fi made for me) was to cut out our quartet. I cried, I screamed, I uttered the words: Don't you want me to have my DREAM wedding?! And he did not budge. I fired our quartet and then set to work coming up with music for the ceremony.

Somewhere half way through that process I realized that by having to play pre-recorded music meant I could have Wynton Marsalis play at my wedding. I could have Patti Griffin sing. I could have everything I wanted- just recorded.

Without further ado, our ceremony music:



Prelude: Vivaldi Autumn I & III

Mother's entrance: Patti Griffin's Heavenly Day

Bridal Party: Pachelbel Canon in D

Processional: Eternal Source of Light Divine, Wynton Marsalis and Kathleen Battle

Recessional: Scotland the Brave, performed by a real live bagpiper

I am really happy with the flow and the expression of the music we picked. I am kicking myself a little (just a little) for not coming to this decision a) on my own and b) sooner. Eh.

I *feel* good

So is this the calm before the storm? Could I really BE okay? I actually feel good and calm and normal....I mean I still have a shit load of stuff to doubt I am okay. Cause why? At the end of the day, the bottom line, the whole enchilada and the Big Lebowsky at 5:00 in the evening in 31 days I get to marry my best friend.

If I don't get table seating done, the guests will figure it out. And guess what folks? That's pretty much all I have left to do (except for finishing marriage counseling, planning the ceremony, ordering desserts, guest book details, finding a babysitter, booking bridesmaids lunch, booking mani/pedi appointments, talking to my photographer, paying everyone and finalizing our booze).
Not bad, eh?

Am I kidding myself? I hope not.

He FINALLY did something!

32 days till the wedding and Fi finally got his arse in gear. We went last night to buy our booze. One of the great savings we receive with booking at the Z Mansion, is we can bring in our own booze. We have hired a licensed and bonded bartender and the Z has liquor insurance so we are covered there, we just need to supply it.

Honestly, as much as we love wine, I was happy going to Trader Joe's and getting $2 Chuck, aka Charles Shaw. But Fi had a plan. For the last few weeks he has been researching wines and last night we went to BevMo with a list of whites and a list of reds, all rated high, but all within the $5-$12/bottle range. We hunted for the specific years and we walked away with 28 bottles of wine for $250! So each table will have a bottle of red (either Merlot, Syrah, or Cab Sav) and a bottle of white (Chardonnay only). We will be going back to buy specific bottles for the bar and the rest of the liquor. Our bartender provides mixers and glassware for the night.

I am really happy that Fi took on this project and ran with it! One thing less on my list!

Photos.

Dude, if you happen to secretly read my blog and not tell me about it...fine, just don't read any further today, mkay? Love.





I really didn't mean to make you beg, but I was on the fence about posting pictures. Since some guests do read the blog I was wary of them seeing me pre-wedding day in my gown, but I think I'm over it now.

Go photos go.


All strapped in and hemmed! Whatchu think? (also notice bright pink sign that say "NO PHOTOS Allowed!", yeah, this isn't the first time I've broken that rule, plus this is my dress).

I like the angle of this picture, I was up on the tailor step thingy and Melisa is not even 5 feet tall....I also love the lines on my dress, very flattering on me I think.

Practicing sitting. I have horrible posture, but the combo of the corset and the boning in the dress will help with that. Ignore the armpit issue...hopefully it won't be as bad when I am sitting more naturally.



The bustle. Notice the gap above my butt, below the lacing? The seamstress will be putting in two more loops on each side so the lacing will come down further and not be as noticeable...and maybe in the next 34 days I can run an inch off my ass...

Overall I felt good in the dress. I'll definitely be watching every calorie that goes in my mouth from now until the wedding, I just felt snug. Although this was sans spanx, maybe I should go get some? Besides the hem and the little loops she'll be adding the seamstress has no other alterations...I do feel lucky about that! Oh and best part ever...no bra necessary! SWEET!

First Fitting!

Wanna see the pictures? Do you? Do you? Let me know and I'll post 'em (fi doesn't read this, so its safe)! Good news it fit!

Highlights from the fitting, in no particular order:
~Melisa (who is 3-4 inches shorter than me) trying to put the dress over my head...we were very happy when we found each other within all that dress!
~A customer in the shop wanted my dress, then was shocked when I said it was mine, until I explained, like no, I own it.
~When Jamie my favorite hairdresser, and yours, popped over to see me!
~Melisa and I trying to figure out how to get me OUT of the dress, with pins intact. It involved me dropping to my knees at just the right moment.
~When the up until then professional seamstress reached in and squeezed my boobs together, to then exclaim "Much better!" Then whisper to Melisa, "you'll need to make her bend-over to get her boobs in right". Oy vey.
~Last, but not least: the beer I drank post fitting (and the last one I drink until the wedding) and watching football for the rest of the day!

This is B.S.

Actually, it is IBS- irritable bowel syndrome. I was diagnosed in college, when I was under a lot of stress emotionally, trying to figure out who I was. After my life settled a bit and I became more sure of who I was, I had no problems.

Well, its back.

Not fun.

My weight is plummeting and not in a good way, I know it is because I am not absorbing enough nutrition from the food I consume. IBS is a constant battle and since I've basically been in a remission for 11 years, I have forgotten how to cope. I really do not want to go on any medications, so I need to adjust my diet. I asked my mom what I ate before and she reminded me "no salads, lots of soup". Which explains why yesterday was a banner day for me, I had a salad for both lunch and dinner!

To add insult to injury, Fi is sick. Like he slept on the pull-out, sick. I sprayed the whole house down with disinfectant and am washing my hands like I have OCD.

I hope this all passes soon, I can't imagine Fi and I living like this for the next 36 days.

These are the times I realize I'm not a normal bride

My FMIL has been storing my dress for ever and a day. Saturday, Fi and I are meeting his folks for lunch so I can get the dress. Then I go to my seamstress at 3:30 that day for my first fitting.

Great, that SEEMS normal, right? Its not. I picked my seamstress due to her proximity to Touchdowns, the local bar where my alumni group meets to watch football. And 3:30?...yeah kick off is at 4:00.

So my day will look a little something like this:
5:30 run
7:00- 10:00 nap
11:30-1:30 dress transfer/lunch
3:30 Mel and I hit the first fitting
4:00 kick-off for alumni team
6:00 head out to go to local college football

That's not really normal is it?

Lets say it together: Back away from the DIY and no one will get hurt.

I went to the Z tonight to talk with some vendors and finalize a few things. The Z has this shed filled with crap* left over from weddings upon weddings. So I went and peaked in and found a few good things:
1. Those glass rock thingies to put at the bottom of a vase- check!
2. 72 glass votive holders- check!
3. 1 bajillion vases for my centerpieces- check!
4. Table numbers -check!

Then while waiting to talk to my DJ I ran into Amelia, my linen lady. We chatted and she invited me back to do a table mock-up. Awesome! I never thought about doing that! Then I showed her my invitation and she asked why I was using boring old ivory and champagne linens when I could use ivory and copper linens- check! I shared with Amelia my centerpieces and she like many before her was amazed that Mel, Jenn and I made the flowers! Well Amelia ran away with the copper, paper flower, Mexicana idea and suggested luminaries, or Terra cotta pots brushed with copper paint, or a bunch of other effing ideas that are now jumping through my head.

This is why we must now repeat together:
Back away from the DIY and no one will get hurt.
Back away from the DIY and no one will get hurt.
Back away from the DIY and no one will get hurt.
Back away from the DIY and no one will get hurt.
Back away from the DIY and no one will get hurt.

Right?
* there is a lot of lovely things in the shed, but most of it is the stuff at the end of the night that any bride in her right mind would say- nope trash it....it is the island of misfit wedding decore.

Rehearsal Dinner dress? Check!

I just ordered this puppy from JCrew. Fingers crossed it looks good!

I can't tell you

I'd love to tell you what I worked on this weekend, but I can't. My pesky bridesmaids read this little blog o mine from time to time, so I can't share with you the awesomeness that is becoming their bridesmaids gifts.

All I will say is that I made part of the gift. Me! Crafts and I don't really mix until this wedding came along...making centerpieces, bridesmaids gifts...sheesh!

I will be doing a whole post (or two) dedicated to BM gifts after the wedding!